How Does the Language of Creators Differ from the Language of Stressed-Out People?
The Syntax of the Language of Stress
Language helps form the limits of our reality.

Language and Stress
People who are creators speak a different language than people who feel habitually stressed-out. They might all be speaking English — or some other shared language — but they use different syntax and different words to describe their lives.
Syntax refers to the structure of your sentences. Merriam Webster defines syntax as:
The way in which words are put together to form phrases, clauses, or sentences.
The most significant syntactical difference between creators and frequently stressed-out people concerns the subjects and direct objects of their sentences. Consider the syntactical function of the word "you" in these sentences:
- Heavy traffic stresses you.
- Your boss stresses you.
- Shopping stresses you.
- Your children stress you.
- Filing taxes stresses you.
Compare the first group of sentences with these sentences:
- You drive calmly in heavy traffic.
- You talk confidently with the boss.
- You enjoy taking care of the children.
- You file the tax return on time with no problems.
Think about what role you play in these sentences. In the first group of sentences, you is the direct object of the sentence. In the second group, you is the subject of the sentence. The direct object receives the action of the verb. The subject of the sentence does the action of the verb.
If you are the subject of the sentence, you are the active doer. If you are the direct object, the subject of the sentence does something to you.
For example, if you are the subject, you hit the baseball. If you are the direct object, the baseball hits you. If you are the subject, you bite the dog. If you are the direct object, the dog bites you.
Are You the Subject or the Direct Object?
In the first group of sentences, someone or something other than you is the subject of the sentence — traffic, the boss, shopping, children, taxes. They are the people or conditions that cause you to experience stress. As the direct object, you don't have a verb of your own. You don't do anything, except be stressed by their unwanted actions. As the direct object of the sentence, you are the baseball that gets hit with the bat, you are the victim of a dog bite, and you are the hapless victim of people or circumstances who cause you to feel stressed-out.
In contrast, the second group of sentences makes you the active doer. In these sentences, you do the action of the verb. The traffic, the boss, the children, and the tax return are no longer the ones that cause you to experience stress. Significantly, the word stress is missing in these sentences.
This syntactical difference between the subject and direct object might seem like trivial grammatical nitpicking, but it's a powerful tool to reveal how you live in the world. This distinction turns you from the object of some stressor into the creator of something that you choose to create. If you think about the syntax of subject-verb-direct object in the sentences you speak and the thoughts you think, you can go a long way to change your life from the stressed-out victim of circumstances to creator of the life you choose.
[Original Post November 23, 2015]